


oh, you make me feel

by songofthe52hertzwhale



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Juliark being ridiculously cute, Logan and Derek being disapproving parents, Lots of judging, M/M, anyway here's wonderwall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 18:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofthe52hertzwhale/pseuds/songofthe52hertzwhale
Summary: Inspired by CP saying that Derek and Logan probably wouldn't approve of a Juliark relationship because they don't trust "Hollywood" people.





	oh, you make me feel

They planned it for _weeks_.

 

The relationship started midway through Julian’s long and agonizing healing process, when Julian was still too fragile to leave the house. Clark had been an absolute _saint_ , had squeezed in visits whenever and wherever he could. He’d driven Julian to medical appointments when Dolce couldn’t, distracted him with bad movies and sugary foods.

 

Clark had been the one who initiated it, surprisingly.

 

It had been a tentative kiss at first, one Clark couldn’t quite help, quickly followed by a brief moment of terror at Julian’s flummoxed expression. But before Clark regained his senses, open his mouth for an apology, Julian had pushed forward again, wrapping his arms around Clark’s shoulders and holding him in place for a second, deeper kiss.

 

They didn’t make it official, at first — there’d been a month or so of casual flirting and chaste kissing, while Julian fought to get his life back. The first time Julian managed a staircase without losing his breath, he’d looked up at Clark with a blazing fierceness in his eyes, walked straight into his arms and kissed him.

 

“I want this to be real,” he’d said, one hand in Clark’s hair, “This is real, right?”

 

He’d almost _laughed_ at that, had ducked his head and slid his hands to Julian’s waist.

 

“This can be whatever you want,” he told him, brushing his lips across Julian’s temple, “Friends. Casual. Boyfriends. I’ll take whatever you give me.”

 

“Boyfriends,” Julian’s voice was firm, “I don’t want to share you.”

 

They’d kissed again, wound up stumbling to the couch, hands sliding over each other’s skin.

 

Hours later, with Julian curled up in Clark’s lap, they’d started to plan.

 

The VMA’s sounded like the perfect opportunity to make things public.

 

Julian had already recorded a single with Haven. It had rocketed up the charts, proving how much their fans loved the dynamic between them. Performing together just sounded _right_.

 

The rest of the band jumped on the idea the moment they stopped celebrating at the news.

 

It was _perfect_.

 

They’d started with a medley of their top hits, songs melding into each other increasing in intensity, before the lights shut out.

 

There’d been a cheer, when Julian started to sing — a single spotlight on him, smiling as his mouth formed the words to a stripped-down version of the only song he’d performed with them up till that point. He stopped after a few lines, drawing a chorus of disappointed groans from the crowd.

 

Then, a second spotlight.

 

Clark sat on a stool, an acoustic guitar held in his lap, eyes fixed on Julian as he played a previously-unheard song.

 

A _love_ song.

 

Julian didn’t move from his spot centerstage, just smiled over at Clark as the man sang his verse. Then, at the chorus, Julian joined in, voice harmonizing perfectly with his boyfriends’ as they sang.

 

The crowd had been transfixed.

 

A love song, sung at a very public and popular awards show, sung by two thought-to-be-straight _men_ , without hesitation.

 

Julian took the microphone off its stand, walked slowly across the stage until he stood beside Clark. They’d stared at each other, soft smiles on their faces, letting the final note of the song ring through the air.

 

Then Julian leaned down, pressed his lips to Clark’s in a soft kiss.

 

The crowd went _wild_.

 

They’d both had hundreds of notifications after, strings of tweets and texts and missed calls. But they’d ignored them all in favor of each other.

 

Carmen had been the one to suggest the picture — to clarify what everyone had already seen, to define what, exactly, they were.

 

Haven had gathered together, pulled Julian into the middle and pushed Clark towards him. They smiled wide for the camera, the musicians and the actor, their arms thrown around each other.

 

> **_ClarkSawyer:_ ** _Great time performing with my @Haven brothers and my boyfriend @JulesLarson tonight!_
> 
>  
> 
> **_JulesLarson:_ ** _My manager asked me to issue a statement clarifying my sexuality but I’m pretty tired so just know this - I like girls, and I like boys, but most of all I like my boyfriend @ClarkSawyer_

 

They go home together that night, get a little bit too handsy in the limo on the way back to Julian’s house. Clark hadn’t intended to do more than walk Julian to his door, really. They’d been taking it slow — despite all of Julian’s protestations, he still wasn’t completely back to himself, and Clark wanted to make sure he was fully, totally _fine_ before he pursued anything beyond make-outs and hand-holding.

 

But Julian had crawled into his lap the moment the car started moving, wound his arms around Clark’s neck and made his head swim.

 

Clark’s self control could only be expected to last so long, after all.

 

He’d followed Julian up to his room that night, pressed him into the mattress and gave his boyfriend everything he begged for.

 

Now, he just pulls Julian to his chest, holds him gingerly. Strokes his hair, murmurs compliments against his skin. Julian just laughs a little, presses his face into Clark’s neck and trails a line of kisses across his throat.

 

“Hey,” Clark says, stroking at the soft skin of Julian’s back, “I didn’t hurt you at all, did I?”

 

Julian just laughs, tilts his face up and grins at Clark.

 

“No. You didn’t hurt me. That was amazing, actually.”

 

“ _Actually_?” Clark pokes his side, careful to avoid his still-tender ribs, “Don’t act so surprised. I _have_ done this once or twice, you know.”

 

“It was acceptable,” Julian says, looking mildly amused, “One day you’re gonna have to stop treating me like I’m breakable, though.”

 

“I’m always gonna be careful with you. You’re the most important thing in my world.”

 

Julian’s eyes twinkle when he smiles next, “You’re good at the sweet talking, that’s for sure.”

 

“…I’m really gonna miss you, when you go back to school.”

 

Julian’s smile fades a little. He lays his head on Clark’s chest, slides a hand down the man’s arm until their fingers brush.

 

“I’m gonna miss you too. I don’t know…I’m not sure how long I’ll be there. I talked to them, a little. But I still don’t know…I’m not sure how many of them actually _want_ me back.”

 

“I’m sure they all do,” Clark squeezes his hand, wraps his other arm firmly around Julian’s waist, “I talk to Reed, you know? He said they’re all worried. Apparently those friends of yours have been grilling him for information.”

 

“Oh,” Julian’s voice is tinged with surprise, “I didn’t…sorry, I didn’t know. I would’ve told them to stop.”

 

“It’s okay,” Clark presses a kiss to the top of his head, “Are you gonna tell them about me?”

 

“Pretty sure the whole world knows, after that kiss. I had to turn my phone off, I was getting so many notifications.”

 

“I mean _really_ tell them about me. You’re not exactly known to talk about your feelings.”

 

“Yeah,” Julian says softly, “That uh…that hasn’t really gone well for me, though. I think…I might talk about it. Maybe. You’re pretty important to me, after all.”

 

“Think they’ll approve?”

 

“Why wouldn’t they?” Julian looks up, smiled, “You’re a saint, after all.”

 

 

 

.

 

 

Julian doesn’t really want to make his return a big deal. Odd, he knows, from the guy who’d once kicked down the doors of Stuart with a loud “ _I’m back you sorry bastards!”_

 

But it’s different, now. After everything that’s happened, he wants something calm. Something quiet.

 

He’d _hoped_ to sneak in without too much fuss, while everyone was still in class, have most of his things unpacked by the time Logan and Derek realized he was back.

 

Still, he’s not completely surprised to find the two waiting for him at baggage claim.

 

He freezes in the entryway, eyes wide as he stares at the two friends he hadn’t seen in _months_.

 

Logan breaks first, surges forward and pulls Julian into the tightest hug of his life. Derek isn’t far behind, wrapping his arms around them both and burying his face in Julian’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t you _ever_ do that to us again, alright?” He says, voice thick, “You don’t get to just _disappear_ like that _.”_

 

 _“_ We had _no idea_ how you were,” Logan adds, “You kept _saying_ you were fine, but still.”

 

“I _am_ fine,” Julian pulls back, smiles reassuringly at them both, “I mean I still have to do physical therapy twice a week, and I’m on all kinds of medications. But I’m okay. I’m doing okay.”

 

From the looks on their faces, it’s clear they don’t entirely believe him. They seem to be letting it slide for now, though — Derek grabs Julian’s suitcase, and Logan throws an arm around Julian’s shoulders as they lead him out of the airport and into a waiting car.

 

“We’re gonna yell at you later,” Logan tells him on the way back, “For doing interviews and performing at the fucking _VMA’s_ before you actually let us see you. That sucked, you know.”

 

Julian shrugs, “I didn’t think..I _talked_ to you guys. It’s not like you hadn’t heard from me.”

 

“We thought you were still like, bedridden,” Derek tells him, “We found out you could walk again because someone leaked pictures of you going out for fro-yo.”

 

Julian cringes a little, “I didn’t…I’m sorry.”

 

“We’re talking about this whole _Clark Sawyer_ nonsense, too.”

 

“Well we’re just jumping right into that, aren’t we? Thought I’d get a day or two before you guys started grilling me.”

 

Derek and Logan exchange a look over Julian’s head.

 

“Look,” Logan says, careful to keep his voice calm, “We know your _image_ is like, a thing you have to worry about. But do you seriously think now’s a good time for something like this?”

 

“Something like _what_ , exactly?”

 

“A publicity stunt relationship,” Derek says, “I mean I know you and Sawyer are kind of friendly, but…is this really the best idea?”

 

Julian looks at them both, sees they’re _serious_ about this.

 

“It’s not a publicity stunt,” he says firmly.

 

Logan rolls his eyes, “Come on, Julian. We’re your _friends_. You don’t have to lie to us.”

 

“It’s _not!_ ” Julian argues, “We’re dating. _Actually_ dating. It’s not a _stunt_.”

 

They’re both quiet for a moment, keep shooting each other that same look like Julian’s not _right_ _there_.

 

“Forget it,” Julian shakes his head, crosses his arms over his chest, “You guys wouldn’t understand.”

 

“We’re just worried, Jules,” Derek reaches for him, squeezes his arm, “We were thinking…I don’t know, maybe it’d be good for you to just…stay put, for a while? Have a normal senior year? No jetting off every other week for Hollywood bullshit.”

 

“It’s not _bullshit_ , D, it’s my _life_.”

 

Derek looks like he wants to say something else, but Logan shakes his head, gives him a clear _not now, okay?_ face.

 

Julian’s still a little sulky for the rest of the ride back to school, and the other two don’t push. They help him out of the car, grab his bags for him.

 

“Do you…” Logan looks a little unsure, like he’s worried about Julian snapping again, “Can you do the stairs, or should we…?”

 

“I’m just slow,” Julian pushes past him, grips the banister and begins the slightly awkward ascent, “I don’t need you two babying me, you know.”

 

They don’t say anything, but he can hear them behind him, feels the tension, as if they’re waiting for him to stumble.

 

His room looks just the way he’d left it. Someone had obviously cleaned it for him, tidied up and dusted the furniture. The curtains are open, the sunlight streaming in.Derek drops the suitcase on a chair, opens it up and starts to put away Julian’s clothes.

 

“So did I miss anything important? Any new boy drama, Lo?”

 

Logan looks a little uncomfortable at that, “Jules…”

 

“Or you, Derek?” Julian turns away, smiles at the other boy, “I saw the pictures from prom on Instagram. How much did you have to grovel to make Casey say yes?”

 

Derek grins at him, “I think it was mostly her feeling sorry for me, you know? Like, ‘ _hey, sorry you got knocked out and your best friend nearly died, I guess I’ll go to this dumb dance with you_ ’.”

 

“So you’re not dating?”

 

“I don’t know,” Derek frowns, grabs a stack of shirts and tosses them at Logan to hang, “She spent the summer in Italy with her family, so we haven’t really…we’re going for coffee tomorrow, though. So maybe?”

 

“You know I think she’s way too good for you, right?”

 

“Trust me, Jules, you and me both.”

 

He reaches for the suitcase again, pauses when he touches something cool and hard nestled amongst the clothing. His hand wraps around a coffee mug, and he pulls it out, holding it up.

 

“A hedgehog shaped mug, Jules, really?”

 

Julian frowns, staring at it, “That’s not mine.”

 

“It was in here,” Derek says, “Wrapped in this… _Haven_ sweatshirt.”

 

Logan pulls it out of Derek’s hands, frowns at a piece of paper looped around the handle.

 

“It’s from Sawyer,” he says, “ _Mostly decaf tea in this, alright? You know you’re supposed to cut down on the coffee_.”

 

“What a _loser_ ,” Julian grins, strides over to them and takes the mug into his own hands. It’s unbelievably tacky, really, but Clark’s doodled little hearts on his note and it’s just so. goddamn. _cute_.

 

He knows Derek and Logan are doing that _look_ thing again, but he ignores it. He carries the mug across the room, sets it on the bookshelf beside his coffee pot and pins the note from Clark to the bulletin board on his wall. When he turns back, Logan and Derek are putting away the rest of his clothes — the Haven sweatshirt, he notes with a small degree of irritation, gets shoved into the bottom drawer of his dresser. He’ll dig it out later, when they’re not paying attention.

 

Ultimately, he only manages to hold off on the Clark conversation for another two days.

 

It’s his fault, probably — he’d wandered downstairs in search of food without thinking about what he was wearing. He’s taken to sleeping in the Haven sweatshirt, one obviously stolen from Clark that hung down to mid-thigh with sleeves he had to constantly push up to free his hands.

 

Derek and Logan were already sitting at the counter, talking quietly — about _him_ , no doubt —over large mugs of coffee.

 

“Hey,” he mumbles, peering into the freezer, “We still have those bagel bites?”

 

“Yeah,” Logan rises, grabs the box, “Sit, I’ll make some.”

 

Julian sinks onto the stool Logan’s abandoned, rests his head in his hand.

 

“You know, it’s really not fair for them to give homework the first week of the semester. My brain’s not ready for calculus.”

 

“I could help,” Derek offers, “I took calculus over the summer so I could do AP Stat this year.”

 

Julian blinks at him, slowly, “Of fucking course you did.”

 

“Well not all of us spent the summer writing love songs with Clark Sawyer.”

 

Logan freezes by the oven, looking at Derek with slightly wide eyes. Julian looks between them both and sighs heavily.

 

“Alright, fine. Guess we’re talking about this, then,” he straightens, leans back in his seat, “So what do you wanna know?”

 

They both look a little thrown, like they hadn’t actually expected Julian to agree to talk about this.

 

“I guess…” Derek says, considering, “How long?”

 

“June?” Julian thinks about it, tries to place the day they’d made things official, “I mean we were kinda…it was slow, I guess. I think he was worried I couldn’t emotionally handle it, or something. But it’s been a while.”

 

“But you’re not _serious_ about it, right?” Logan asks, “it’s just a casual thing?”

 

“It’s not…” Julian scoffs a little, runs a hand through his hair, “I mean it’s not just _sex_ , if that’s what you’re asking. I like him. A lot.”

 

“Isn’t it a little soon?” Derek raises an eyebrow at him, “You were in a _coma_ just a few months ago, maybe a relationship just isn’t a good idea. Are you even like…emotionally stable yet?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, is there a set amount of time I’m supposed to wait until I’m allowed to feel normal again?”

 

“That’s not what we meant, Jules.”

 

He turns to Logan, crossing his arms, “Then what _do_ you mean, Lo? You don’t even _know_ him.”

 

“We know he’s a fucking _rock star_ , Jules,” Logan’s argues, “His whole band is always in the news for pulling some dumb stunt, I don’t think you need that kind of person in your life. Not _now_.”

 

“You’ve seen the kinds of things those magazines write about me. Most of the time it’s total bullshit.”

 

“He’s going on tour soon, isn’t he?” Derek asks, “His band’s got a new album this year? You guys are doing a fucking _movie_ together, it was all anyone could talk about after that kiss.”

 

“What’s your point, exactly?”

 

“We just want to know what his aim is, is all,” Logan says, “What he’s getting out of this.”

 

Julian almost feels _sick_.

 

The thought that Clark’s _using_ him, that this whole relationship is a publicity stunt — he knows it’s bullshit, but it fucking _hurts_.

 

“…me,” he says, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice, “He’s getting _me_. I know this may come as a shock, Lo, but some people actually _want_ that.”

 

Logan looks like he’s been slapped.

 

“You know that’s not what I meant, Julian. I didn’t…of course I didn’t…”

 

“Well it’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?” He turns to Derek, “What both of you are saying? That he’s _using_ me? That this whole relationship is some ploy to get people to buy his fucking _album_?”

 

“Julian…”

 

“You realize Haven went triple platinum on their last album, right? He’s already famous, he doesn’t need me for that.”

 

“Jules…”

 

“Or how about how he’s supposed to appeal to teenage girls who want to pretend they have a shot? That dating me is actually kind of a _risk_ for him because it destroys his whole _rockstar_ image?”

 

“Julian, just listen…”

 

“No,” he slams his fists down on the counter, rises to his feet, “I’m not fucking listening to this. I _like_ him. He likes me. And quite frankly I’d much rather be with him then talking to you assholes right now.”

 

He storms out of the room, ignoring both of them as they call his name. The walls shake when he slams his bedroom door closed, and he grabs his phone from the nightstand, dials Clark’s number and sinks down onto the floor.

 

“ _Hey beautiful_ ,” Clark’s voice rings with laughter when he answers. The sound of the rest of the guys making kissing noises makes Julian smiles a little, “ _Sick of school yet_?”

 

“Sick of people,” Julian says, “I’m um…I’m gonna ask you a really stupid question that’s gonna make you kind of mad at me.”

 

“ _…okay…_ ”

 

“You’re not just dating me for publicity, right?”

 

 _“Am I…hang on_ ,” he hears Clark shush the guys, the tell-tale sign of footsteps and a door closing and then quiet, “ _You don’t really think that, do you? Please tell me you don’t think that._ ”

 

“I know you’re not,” Julian pulls his knees to his chest, rests his elbows on his thighs, “I _know_ , I just kind of need to hear you say it.”

 

“ _I’m not dating you for publicity,”_ Clark says, voice soft, “ _I promise. I wouldn’t do that._ ”

 

Julian lets out a breath, relaxes a little, “I know. I know just…my friends are dicks.”

 

“… _they said that? That I’m only dating you for what, album sales?_ ”

 

“They don’t trust people,” Julian feels the sudden need to defend them, “They’re just looking out for me.”

 

“ _If they wanna threaten me or ask me what my intentions are they can talk to me_ ,” Clark says, a little angry, _“But they shouldn’t be pulling that kind of shit with you. You don’t deserve that.”_

 

“They’re just…protective.”

 

“ _I mean it, Julian,”_ Clark’s voice is firm, _“I don’t want them trying to make you feel bad about this. Give me their phone numbers, I’ll talk to them._ ”

 

“I can handle it. Really.”

 

Clark sighs, “ _Fine. Just don’t…don’t believe any of that bullshit. I’m dating you for_ you _.”_

 

 _“_ …I miss you.”

 

 _“God, J, I miss you too_ ,” Clark laughs a little, “ _I…they keep making fun of me. Apparently my brain just like shuts off when you text, did you seen Mikey’s Snapchat story?”_

 

“The one where you were so into your phone that you didn’t react to Sinclair and Raven talking shit about you?”

 

_“It was when you sent me that selfie. Wearing my flannel?”_

 

“You’re kidding.”

 

“ _You’re just…you do things to me, J,”_ Clark’s voice is soft, and Julian feels a shiver go down his spine _, “I’ve never felt like this before_.”

 

“Yeah?” Julian’s a little glad nobody can see him, he knows the grin on his face is a little ridiculous, “Guess you must really like me.”

 

 _“Guess I must_.”

 

“I, um…” Julian looks up at a sharp knock on his door, “I think I gotta go. Text me later?”

 

_“Yeah, I’m actually working on a song about you right now. Maybe I’ll have one of the guys record it and send you a little preview.”_

 

“You’re writing a song about me?”

 

“ _Kinda hard to write about anything else, nowadays.”_

 

Julian’s blushing, he knows. The knock sounds at his door again.

 

“…I have to go. That song better be good.”

 

 _“I’ll do my best_.”

 

He hangs up, the ridiculous grin still spread on his face, pushes himself up and moves to answer the door.

 

Logan looks startled when he sees Julian, actually takes a step back in surprise.

 

“What?” Julian asks, “Were you expecting to knock on my door and find someone else?”

 

“No,” Logan blinks, “I just…wasn’t expecting you to look so happy.”

 

“I was talking to Clark.”

 

“…right,” Logan looks away, holds up a plate of bagel bites, “Look we…we’re sorry, okay? It’s none of our business who you choose to date.”

 

Julian takes the plate from him, “I’m sensing a _but_ here.”

 

“Just…be careful? We just don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

 

“Clark’s not going to hurt me,” Julian tells him, “He’s…he’s a good guy. Probably the best person I know.”

 

“Still. If he hurts you…”

 

“…then _I’ll_ punch him, alright? I know what I’m doing.”

 

“Okay,” Logan smiles at him, slides his hands into his pockets, “We’ll behave, then. Goodnight, Jules.”

 

“Night.”

 

 

.

 

 

Logan and Derek do their best to ignore it.

 

They _know_ Clark’s the one texting when Julian grins down at his phone, knows it’s him on the other end of Julian’s late night phone calls. They’re still uneasy about the whole thing, try to change the subject any time Clark Sawyer’s name comes up.

 

The problem is that _everyone_ is talking about it.

 

“Wouldn’t it be _weird_?” David asks Reed at a Warblers rehearsal one day, “What if they got _married_? You’d be Julian Larson’s brother-in-law.”

 

Reed just laughs a little, “It’s not like Clark and I hang out all the time. Besides, Julian’s always been nice to me. He always asks me to design his outfits for awards shows and stuff.”

 

“Still though, imagine those family reunions.”

 

“Why are we talking about this?” Logan snaps, “ _Marriage_ , are you for real? They’re not even that serious.”

 

Reed looks a little uneasy, “I…Clark makes it sound like it’s pretty serious. When I talk to him he always asks how Julian’s doing.”

 

“Isn’t that kind of creepy? Using you to check up on him?”

 

Blaine raises an eyebrow, “Didn’t _you_ use Reed to check up on him, back when he was in LA?”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“Clark really likes him, I think,” Reed says, “Obviously I don’t know how _Julian_ feels, but…I think it’s serious, for Clark.”

 

“Whatever,” Logan rolls his eyes, “Could we just start this thing? I have a ton of homework I’d like to get to.”

 

Reed looks a little uncomfortable, steers clear of Logan for the rest of rehearsal.

 

Later that night, Julian bursts into Logan’s room _fuming_.

 

“What the hell, Jules, I’m trying to finish this essay—“

 

“Why did _Reed Van Kamp_ ask me if I was stringing Clark along?”

 

“I wouldn’t know,” Logan leans back, “I don’t have control over what Windsor does.”

 

“Apparently,” Julian steps forward, face twisted in anger, “ _Someone_ said something today about how I wasn’t _serious_ about this relationship.”

 

“That’s a little out of context.”

 

“I don’t care what the context was, Logan! You don’t get to speak for me like that!”

 

“Was I really wrong?” Logan snaps back, “Seriously, Jules, I know you’re not actually serious about _Clark Sawyer_.”

 

“Why is that so fucking hard for you to believe? Why is it totally beyond your comprehension that I might _actually_ be in a decent relationship?”

 

“Maybe because a few months ago you told me you were in love with _me_.”

 

He regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth. Julian’s frozen in place, staring at Logan with a look of betrayal. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet, shaking with suppressed rage.

 

“How _dare_ you.”

 

“Jules, wait, I didn’t…”

 

“Fuck you, Logan,” Julian spins on his heel, storms out of Logan’s room and disappears down the hallway.

 

“Jules!”

 

Logan curses under his breath, shoves his homework aside and follows Julian. The door to his room is already closed when Logan reaches it, and he raises a hand to knock.

 

“ _…hey_ ,” he hears Julian say through the door, _“Hey I’m sorry, I know you’re busy. I just really needed to hear your voice._ ”

 

Logan lowers his hand. He can tell Julian’s close, is probably leaning against the other side of the door right now. He should leave, give him some time to cool off before he tries to apologize.

 

“ _No I just…I’m starting to think coming back wasn’t a good idea. I know I said I wanted to finish school. Maybe I should’ve just done it from set, you know?”_

 

It hurts, hearing Julian say that — that he regrets coming back. That Logan’s made him regret coming back.

 

“ _I wanted to prove I could do it, I guess? But maybe I was wrong, maybe I can’t. I was fine back home.”_

 

Logan closes his eyes, rests his forehead against Julian’s door.

 

“ _I don’t…maybe. I’m not sure yet.”_

 

He wants to know what Julian’s talking about, wants to throw open the door and tell him to stay, please just stay.

 

 _“Yeah. Yeah I can try. I just really miss you. Kind of a stupid amount, really_.”

 

He’s using his real voice — not the fake bullshit he puts on for the cameras, but the voice that Logan knows means he’s being _honest_. He must be serious about this, after all.

 

“ _Your stepbrother threatened me today. Said if I hurt you he’d make me sorry. It was kind of like being threatened by a cupcake.”_

 

There’s a pause, then Julian laughs.

 

“ _Yeah. I…me too. Mmhm. No, no, you should get back to work. I’m fine. Really. I’ll talk to you later.”_

 

Another pause, and then:

 

“ _…I just really wish I was there.”_

 

 

_._

 

 

Miraculously, Julian stays.

 

He doesn’t speak to Logan for _days_ , which comes as no surprise. But he stays.

 

They don’t talk about the Clark thing.

 

But then, one Friday afternoon as classes are released for the weekend, Reed sidles up to Julian in the hallway, a wide grin plastered on his face.

 

“Hey,” he says, “You might want to go outside.”

 

Julian frowns momentarily before his face changes, mouth falling open.

 

“Wait he isn’t…he didn’t…”

 

Reed laughs a little, “I just ran into him. He said he’s here until Sunday.”

 

Julian darts off, hurrying down the hall and out the front doors.

 

“Clark’s here?” Logan frowns at Reed, whose smile fades a little, “Like, at _Dalton_ , here?”

 

“His tour starts next week,” Reed says, “He wanted to come by before his schedule got crazy, I guess?”

 

“I wanna meet him,” Derek says, grabbing Logan’s arm, “Come on, before Julian drags him off somewhere.”

 

It isn’t hard to find them.

 

Every student standing outside is staring at them — Julian had _leapt_ into Clark’s arms, wrapped his legs around the blonde’s waist as he kissed him soundly. When they part for breath, Clark _beams_ at him, gently sets Julian back on the ground and laughs a little as he cups his face.

 

There’s a chorus of _aww’s_ somewhere nearby, and Logan turns to shoot a glare at the gaggle of freshmen watching the scene play out. They cower at the dark look in his eyes, slink away and make room for Logan and Derek to approach the two actors.

 

Julian looks over as they approach and takes Clark’s hand.

 

“Guys,” he says, looking just the slightest bit nervous, “This is Clark. Clark, this is Derek and Logan.”

 

Clark straightens, glances over at both of them and smiles, “Hey. Nice to meet you guys.”

 

He lifts one hand in a wave, his other arm firmly planted around Julian’s waist.

 

“…hey,” Derek says, trying for a smile, “What a…surprise.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t tell anyone. Wasn’t sure I could actually swing it until the last minute,” Clark tells them, “We’ve been totally swamped with rehearsals and interviews and everything. But the guys told me they’d make an excuse for me this weekend.”

 

Julian grins up at him, “For me?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Logan clears his throat, breaking up the heart-eyeing going on between Julian and Clark.

 

“We had plans tonight, didn’t we, Jules? The three of us were gonna go to dinner, right?”

 

Julian looks a little annoyed, but Clark speaks first.

 

“That’s fine, actually,” he says, squeezing Julian’s waist, “I’d like to get in a dinner with Reed too, while I’m here. We can meet up after?”

 

“…yeah, okay,” Julian leans into him, presses a kiss to his cheek, “There’s one decent bar around here, you could take me dancing.”

 

“Is that really a good idea?” Derek interjects, “I know you’re doing great with physical therapy, Jules, but you sure you should be _dancing_?”

 

Julian scowls, “I can manage.”

 

“No,” Clark frowns, “I agree with him, actually. That might not be the best idea.”

 

Julian shoots him a look of absolute betrayal, “You’ll let me perform on stage with you at the VMA’s, but I can’t go to a club in _Ohio_?”

 

“Julian…”

 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had the chance to go out? I just wanna have _fun_ , Clark,” Julian pouts at him, lower lip jutting out, “I promise I won’t get too crazy.”

 

Clark doesn’t stand a goddamn chance against that face.

 

“…you’re not drinking,” he says firmly, “And if you even _kind of_ feel like you can’t handle it we’re going home.”

 

“One drink.”

 

“Julian.”

 

“Pretty please?”

 

Julian flutters his eyelashes.

 

“No,” Clark says again, “You’re underage, first off. And you’re definitely not supposed to be drinking with your medication.”

 

Julian sulks a little, but doesn’t argue, much to Logan and Derek’s surprise.

 

“Fine,” he sighs, “Go have dinner with your brother. I’ll see you for a sad, sober night later.”

 

“Your friends can come, if they want,” Clark says kindly, looking up at Derek and Logan, “I’d like to get to know them.”

 

“Sure,” Derek says almost instantly, “Sounds fun.”

 

Logan side-eyes him a little, but nods in agreement. Julian looks vaguely ill at the thought of them all going out together, but Clark just brightens a little, gives Julian one last kiss.

 

“There’s Reed now,” he says, pulling away, “Is that his boyfriend with him?”

 

“Yeah,” Julian says, “They’re so gross, honestly. He’s like a puppy that follows Reed around telling him how pretty he is all the time.”

 

“Oh no,” Clark says dryly, “Must be _awful_ to be with someone who worships the ground you walk on. I have no idea how you two do it.”

 

Julian turns remarkably, brilliantly red, gapes up at Clark as he grins and races after Reed.

 

“Well,” Derek says, with a roll of his eyes, “That was unbearably cheesy.”

 

 

.

 

 

Logan’s the one who answers the door for Clark that night.

 

“…hey,” Clark says with a smile, “Julian ready to go?”

 

“Not yet. Still fixing his hair, or something,” Logan leans against the door, eyes Clark’s outfit — a little too casual, for his tastes, just a simple white v-neck and dark jeans accessorized with a stack of black-and-brown leather bracelets.

 

“That’s fine,” Clark’s smile doesn’t falter, “I don’t mind waiting. Mind if I come in?”

 

Logan steps aside to Clark into the foyer. He’s a little surprised, when Clark moves beside him, to find that the man is a few inches _taller_ ; he hadn’t noticed earlier, with Julian hanging off him, but Logan has to _look up_ to meet Clark’s eyes.

 

He doesn’t like it.

 

He straightens to his own full height, crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“So,” he says, voice cold, “You and Julian, then?”

 

“Yeah. Me and Julian.”

 

“You serious about him?”

 

Clark smirks a little, watches as Derek walks into the room as well, stopping at Logan’s side and folding his arms over his chest.

 

“I am,” he says, “Julian’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“Because he’s famous?” Derek chimes in, “Must be nice, having a boyfriend who can get you into the hottest parties.”

 

“Don’t actually need his help with that,” Clark says, looking amused, “Not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m kind of well-known myself. Besides, parties aren’t usually my thing.”

 

“Oh? World-famous rockstar who doesn’t party?”

 

“We’re not all stereotypes.”

 

“Still,” Logan presses on, “Julian’s an interesting choice. Really working the LGBT audience, I guess? He’s a little young for you, though.”

 

“Two years,” Clark says, smile frozen in place, “Not exactly a huge gap there. Besides, his mom seems to approve.”

 

Derek’s eyes widen, “ _Dolce Larson_ likes you?”

 

“She does. Seemed thrilled when we told her, actually.”

 

They don’t know what to say to that — just stare at him, open-mouthed.

 

“Look,” Clark says, “I get it. You guys think you’re protecting him. But I don’t have any ulterior motives. I like him. A lot, actually. He makes me happy. And I’m pretty sure I make him happy, too.”

 

“You do.”

 

They all turn at the sound of a new voice, watch as Julian steps into the room. He’s considerably more dressed up than his boyfriend: black slacks, a dark blue button up, sleeves pushed to his elbows, hair tousled artfully. He smiles as he walks forward, reaches for Clark and leans up for a kiss.

 

“You do make me happy,” he says, “Always have, really.”

 

He turns, gives Logan and Derek a rather bitchy stink-eye.

 

“You two, on the other hand, must be on some kind of mission to piss me off. If you’re not gonna be nice, you don’t get to come tonight.”

 

“They’ve been fine,” Clark leans against him, gives the other two a pointed look, “Perfectly nice. Just looking out for you. I respect that. You ready to go?”

 

“I think so,” Julian adjusts a lock of hair, straightens his shirt, “I look okay?”

 

“As stunningly beautiful as always.”

 

Julian shoves at him, grinning.

 

“I think we should go before you two need to go find a room, shouldn’t we?”

 

Derek takes Julian’s arm, dragging him away from Clark. There’s a sleek sports car parked out front, no doubt Clark’s rental for the weekend. He actually _holds the door_ for Julian, squeezes his hand as Julian slides inside.

 

“So we can’t baby him,” Derek mutters, just loud enough for Logan to hear, “But Sawyer can treat him like a Victorian woman and Jules just _blushes_.”

 

“ _Stunningly beautiful_ ,” Logan grumbles, “What a line. Bet he just combs through scripts and picks out the grossest lines he can.”

 

Neither Clark or Julian seem to hear them — they’re talking in the front seat, flirtatiously arguing over the radio station.

 

“Oh god no,” Clark reaches for the buttons, “We’re not listening to _me_ , stop it.”

 

“But I _like this song_ ,” Julian argues, “I wanna hear it."

 

“I prefer 105.5, actually,” Logan pipes up, “Classic rock, you know?”

 

“Yeah, listen to him,” Clark switches it over, “I’m gonna have to sing that song every single day for the next four months, I don’t want to get sick of it.”

 

Julian pouts a little, sinking back in his seat.

 

Clark sings along to the radio, and Logan narrows his eyes. He joins in too, voice rising a little above Clark’s. Derek eyes him with amusement, and Julian groans.

 

“I swear to god, if you guys have some vocal dick-measuring contest I will jump out of this car right now.”

 

“We could switch it to an _actual_ dick-measuring contest, if you’d prefer,” Derek suggests.

 

Julian spins around, eyes Derek solemnly, “Hate to tell you, D, but you’d lose that one.”

 

“What?” Derek scoffs, “Come on, Jules, you don’t have to _lie_ to him.”

 

“It’s the truth,” Julian says, “Length and girth. He’s _hung_.”

 

“Oh my god,” Clark chokes out, “Could we _not_ talk about my dick right now?”

 

“But it’s a very _nice_ dick,” Julian says with a grin, “Best one I’ve ever seen.”

 

Derek grumbles to himself, and Julian shoots him an amused look over his shoulder. The conversation thankfully moves on from there, from Clark’s dinner with Reed to Julian’s irritation with their English teacher’s analysis of _The Tempest_.

 

Clark raises an eyebrow as they pull into the half-full parking lot of the club, and Julian sighs.

 

“I know,” he says, “It’s the middle of nowhere, Ohio, though. This is the only club for _miles_.”

 

“There’s _nobody_ here,” Clark says, shutting off the engine and stepping out, “It’s not like…packed full of old people, is it?”

 

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Logan says a little defensively, “Sure it’s not New York or LA or anything, but it’s decent.”

 

Clark throws an arm around Julian’s shoulders and pulls him close as they head inside. It does look a little sad, compared to big city clubs — there’s a small crowd gathered on the dance floor, a dozen or so people lining the bar. But the music is good, and Julian’s smiling wide as he tugs Clark onto the dance floor.

 

Derek and Logan head to the bar, digging their fake ID’s out of their wallets. One they’ve both gotten a drink, they lean against the bar, watch Julian coax Clark into dancing with him. He’s not quite as graceful as Julian, but he pulls Julian against his chest, sets his hands _low_ on Julian’s hips as they sway to the music.

 

“He’s _weirdly_ tall, don’t you think?” Logan asks, eyeing the pair.

 

“ _You’re_ tall, Logan.”

 

“I’m attractive tall,” Logan says, sneering, “He’s like…freakish tall, you know? Like once you hit 6’5” it’s just kind of weird.”

 

“Julian _did_ have to stand on his toes to kiss him,” Derek says, “But I think it’s his eyes that weird me out, did you see them? They’re almost _too_ blue. I bet he wears colored contacts.”

 

Logan snorts into his drink, “Probably. He looks like the vain type.”

 

“He looks like the kind of guy who picks up a guitar at parties to play Wonderwall.”

 

“Fuck, you’re right. The hell does Julian even see in him?”

 

Derek glances back at the dance floor, pulls a face when Julian runs his hands down Clark’s chest.

 

“Well,” he says, scowling at the obvious look of desire on Clark’s face, “I guess it’s pretty obvious what _he_ sees in _Julian_.”

 

Logan frowns, “You don’t think he’s just in it for the sex, do you? He’s not using Julian for that?”

 

“He’s a rockstar and Julian’s hot. Isn’t that kind of what happens? Until he goes on tour and starts hooking up with groupies, at least.”

 

“He wouldn’t…” Logan looks a little angry, “If he cheats on Julian I’ll kill him.”

 

They watch Clark a little suspiciously, neither of them at all fond of the way Clark’s hands drift down to Julian’s ass. But Julian just rolls his hips a little, smirks up at his boyfriend and mouths at his neck.

 

“This is fucking gross,” Derek says, “I’ve never been this gross in public, have I?”

 

Logan’s quiet, just grimaces a little when Derek looks up at him.

 

“…fuck,” Derek says, “I’m sorry, then. Because this is gross.”

 

“Also, did you hear how controlling he is? Telling Julian he can’t _drink_.”

 

Derek looks unsure, “I don’t know. I mean…we don’t know what medication he’s taking. Maybe it really is for the best.”

 

“Still,” Logan says, “He shouldn’t be with someone who orders him around like that.”

 

“Yeah,” Derek downs the rest of his drink, gestures at the bartender for another, “Doesn’t really seem like we can talk him out of it, though.”

 

“Well he’s leaving on tour soon, right? Maybe the distance will be too much.”

 

They sip at their drinks for a moment.

 

“…is it fucked up?” Logan asks, “That we’re _hoping_ for him to get dumped?”

 

“Yep. Definitely.”

 

 

.

 

 

Julian gets a little sulky when Clark leaves for his tour.

 

Derek nearly gags when he catches the two of them saying their goodbyes on the porch, Clark bending down enough so their foreheads touch as they murmur something sappy to each other. He sees Clark reach up, tug a silver necklace off his own neck and fasten it around Julian’s. Julian absolutely _beams_ at him, fingers the pendant against his chest and kisses Clark goodbye.

 

About an hour later, he slinks into Logan’s room, throws himself on the bed.

 

“Problem, princess?” Logan asks without looking up from his homework.

 

“I’m _bored_ ,” Julian whines, throwing an arm over his eyes, “Entertain me.”

 

“Oh, so we’re good enough to hang out with now that your boyfriends gone?”

 

Julian tilts his head just enough to glare, “He’s going on tour until _December_. Sue me for wanting to spend a weekend with him first.”

 

“Little surprised you’re not planning on following him around, with the way you were hanging all over him.”

 

“It took me all summer to catch up on the work I missed last year,” Julian says, “Didn’t really wanna miss more school than I need to this year. He got me tickets for their show in Columbus, though. In October. Three of them, if you guys wanna come.”

 

“…I’ll consider it. Don’t really listen to their music, though.”

 

“I think you’d like it,” Julian bounces up, pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens his iTunes, “It’s totally your style. They always have great lyrics, too.”

 

Logan waves him off, “I’m busy here, Jules. Not exactly in the mood to listen to your boytoy’s newest single.”

 

Julian seems to deflate a little, “…why are you being so weird about all this?”

 

“I’m not being weird.”

 

“Is this about…” Julian hesitates, swallows, “This isn’t about…what I said, that night, is it? Because I already told you, I don’t want it to change anything. I want us to still be friends.”

 

“We _are_ friends,” Logan sets his pen down, finally meets Julian’s eyes, “Look, I get that you think he’s _great_ and all. But that doesn’t mean I have to like him. You already said you don’t need our approval.”

 

“I don’t,” Julian puts his phone away, looking a little upset, “But it’d still be kind of nice to have it.”

 

“Julian…”

 

“You think I’ve liked all of _your_ boyfriends?” Julian asks, a little angrily, “Of course not. But I at least made an attempt to be supportive. You could at least _try_.”

 

He turns to storm out, freezes at the door when Logan calls his name.

 

“Look, Jules” Logan says, “I…wanna go get dinner in an hour? I’ll try not to be a total dick.”

 

“…fine. But you’re paying.”

 

“Deal.”

 

The moment Julian walks out, Logan shoots a text to Derek before opening his laptop, types “Haven” into his search bar. He pulls up a video of one of their performances and sits back, listening critically.

 

He’s three songs in when Derek finally walks in.

 

“He’s actually good,” he says with a little bit of bitterness, “I thought he was just the guitarist, but apparently he sometimes sings, too. And he’s _good_.”

 

“Who, Sawyer?”

 

“Yeah,” Logan shifts his computer so Derek can watch too, clicks on the next video, “I think this is the song he wrote about Julian. Supposedly, at least.”

 

Derek pulls up a chair and leans forward, watching the performance.

 

“…I like it,” he says, halfway through, “The song. It’s a little cheesy, but I kind of like it.”

 

“Me too,” Logan sounds almost _upset_ by that, “It’s not bad at all.”

 

He stops the video and types Clark’s name into the search bar instead.

 

“Is there a reason we’re google stalking Julian’s boyfriend?”

 

“He’s a little mad at us,” Logan says, scrolling through the results, “Think we might have been a little too mean about the guy.”

 

“So now we’re creeping on him.”

 

“We’re also going to his concert next month.”

 

“Of course we are,” Derek watches Logan skim through Clark’s bio, then points at the headline of an article, “Hey click that one, real quick?”

 

Logan does, reads over the article.

 

“ _The Last Saint in Hollywood_ , really?” Derek raises an eyebrow, “People actually…wow. There’s no way all this is true. Nobody’s that nice. He doesn’t drink? Guitarist for a rock band doesn’t _drink_?”

 

“This says he donated his entire paycheck for last season to some children’s hospital. He bought a car for his assistant’s son. They did a free concert for some low-income high school…this is bullshit, he’s not this nice. No way.”

 

“I guess Jules _did_ say he was a good guy,” Derek slides the laptop closer, types something else in the search bar.

 

“ _Juliark_ , are you fucking kidding me?”

 

“I just wanna see something, alright?”

 

He clicks on a video, puts it in full screen and leans back. It’s some fan-made montage of interview clips and paparazzi footage, completely devoted to Julian and Clark’s relationship. The footage goes back _years_ , to Julian’s first season on _Something Damaged_. Even back then, his interactions with Clark had been full of innuendos and flirting. There’s footage of the two laughing during scenes, leaving bars together, _singing_ together.

 

The last clip is more recent — maybe only a few weeks old. Clark’s sitting in an interview with his band, blushing pink while the rest of the guys laugh.

 

> “ _I’m sorry,” he shakes his head, looks back at their interviewer, “What was the question again?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“She asked about Julian,” one of the others chimes in, “Your boo-bear.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Clark points a finger at him, sternly, “I have never called him that. We’re not really into pet names.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _The other guy looks back at the interviewer, “That’s a fucking lie. He’s only saying that because he can technically classify_ beautiful _as an adjective instead of a pet name.”_
> 
>  
> 
> “ _Oh god,” Clark groans, buries his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up, “I…we…Julian’s um…he’s amazing. I don’t think either of us really expected this, to be honest? We’ve been friends for years, and then suddenly it was just…more? But it’s great. I really…I really lo—like him.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _The other guys coo at him, batting their eyelashes and making kissy faces._
> 
>  
> 
> _“They’re disgusting,” one of them says, “So gross. Like the flirting before they got together was bad enough, you know? But now they’re always hanging around cuddling and…oh my god you’re texting him right now, aren’t you?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Clark’s smiling down at his phone, looks up, “I’m sorry, did you say something_?”

 

Derek and Logan just stare as the screen goes black.

 

“…fuck,” Derek says, finally, “That was…”

 

“Actually kind of cute?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They stare at the lingering picture of Clark.

 

“He’s an actor, right?” Logan says, “It’s probably just…him trying to make the relationship look good, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Derek nods, “It’s acting, right. That texting thing? So cliche. He was probably on Twitter or something”

 

Logan closes his laptop, slides it across his desk, “…we should still lay off, I think. I mean, if we want Jules to actually _stay_ we should probably not piss him off too much.”

 

“You can tell him you like his music, I guess.”

 

“I guess. Come on, I told him an hour forty-five minutes ago. Whoever talks shit about Sawyer first gets the check.”

 

 

.

 

 

They do wind up going to the concert, after all.

 

Julian drags them to Columbus _hours_ early, leads them backstage while the band does sound checks. They’re a little surprised at the enthusiastic greeting Julian gets from the rest of the band — they stop mid-song the moment they see Julian, all rushing forward to be the first one to hug him.

 

“Oh my god, finally,” one of them exclaims, “He’s been _awful_ without you around. We’re making you come on the next tour, I swear. You can throw things at us when we mess up or something, just _please_ don’t leave us all alone with his pining ever again.”

 

Clark just shoves them aside, pulls Julian into his arms and greets him with a soft kiss. They don’t actually pull away when they part, just stand together with dumb smiles on their faces.

 

“I swear I haven’t been _that bad_ ,” he says, “They’re just annoyed because I left dinner early last night to call you.”

 

“And wrote two new songs about you!” Another boy chimes in, and Clark flips him off. He turns his head, nods at Derek and Logan, who nod back.

 

Julian makes quick introductions, pointing out each member of the band. They seem friendly enough, offer Derek and Logan some of the food they’ve had delivered backstage.

 

“Wait, you’re the one with allergies, right?” Clark gestures at a separate tray, set on a different table, “That should all be safe.”

 

Logan’s a little surprised by that, but Clark gives him a sincere smile. He’s still a little hesitant as he picks at the food on it, nibbles just a little.

 

“He’s not gonna poison you,” Derek mutters, with a roll of his eyes, “He may be _Hollywood_ but he’s not a sociopath.”

 

“Why would he get _me_ food special?”

 

Derek shrugs, “Jules probably told him? He knew we’d be here around dinner, after all.”

 

“I guess.”

 

They watch as Julian and Clark grab slices of pizza and slide onto the floor, curled up against each other and talking quietly between themselves. The other guys try to pull Derek and Logan into conversation, asking about school and, when Logan mentions the Warblers, talking music.

 

Eventually, the guys all break away to get ready for the show, and Julian heads back to his friends.

 

“Please give them a chance,” he says, as the show starts, “They’re good, I promise.”

 

The first song is one Derek and Logan had listened to, and Julian looks unbelievably pleased when Logan sings along a little.

 

“They’re um…usually a little more theatrical,” Julian tells them, midway through the show, “They have these crazy pyrotechnics, most of the time. I think they nixed them because I’m here.”

 

He doesn’t really wait for a response, just continues watching the performance with a fond smile on his face. The show is incredibly high-energy, the boys running and jumping all over the stage as they perform. By the time they reach the last few songs, they’re absolutely drenched in sweat.

 

“Alright guys,” Clark leans into the microphone, waits for the screams to die down a little, “So this is a little weird, and we’ve never done it before. But we’re gonna play you a brand new song that nobody’s ever heard before.”

 

There’s a chorus of renewed cheering, and Clark laughs a little, “Alright, okay, calm down. This is um…it’s a little different than our normal stuff. I wrote it for someone who’s really important to me.”

 

He glances off-stage, looks straight at Julian.

 

Julian’s breath definitely catches a little.

 

“It might be a little rough,” Clark continues, “I don’t have a title yet, and we’ll probably make changes before it winds up on an album, but my boyfriend’s actually here tonight and I really wanted to sing this for him. So bear with me, guys.”

 

The lights dim a little, a single spotlight settling on Clark as he trades his guitar for an acoustic and starts strumming.

 

“Anyway,” Logan mutters out of the corner of his mouth, “Here’s Wonderwall.”

 

Julian either doesn’t hear or ignores him. He steps forward a little, hovering just at the edge of the stage.

 

_Can’t believe you snuck up on me like this_

_I’ve never felt something like this before_

_But all it took was a single kiss_

_And boy, I can’t help wanting more_

 

Derek gives Logan a _look_ , opens his mouth to comment on how tacky the lyrics are. But Logan shakes his head imperceptibly and glances over at Julian, who’s watching the performancewith a soft smile.

 

_Found the sunset in your eyes and rise in your smile_

_And we’ve both spent so long feeling alone_

_But when the world stops, and I hold you for a while_

_And you look at me, I know I’m home_

 

Julian grips onto the edge of a speaker, almost looks as if he’ll fall over without something to hang on to. His mouth is slightly open, his eyes fixed on Clark as he sings. He’s trembling a little.

 

The song continues — Clark breaks for an understated guitar solo towards the end, closes his eyes as he plays before leaning back in to the mic.

 

_Everyone thinks they know you, oh,_

_But baby, I wanna spend my life learning to_

_Let me spend my whole life knowing you_

 

There’s a moment of near-eerie silence before the crowd erupts into wild applause. Clark ducks his head a little, smiling, and turns to the wings. He looks at Julian with that same soft expression, furrowing his brow in confusion when Julian turns and hurries back into the shadows.

 

“Anyway, on a less corny note,” Raven laughs into the microphone, gestures for a drum beat and launches into the next song. Clark fumbles momentarily, nearly drops his guitar as his part comes up.

 

Logan and Derek share a quick look before making their way after Julian, nearly tripping over the maze of cords lying across the floor.

 

“Julian?”

 

They finally find him in a dark corner, sitting back against the wall with his knees to his chest and his face in his hands.

 

“Jules?” Logan steps forward tentatively, half-reaches for him, “Hey, is everything okay?”

 

When Julian looks up, his eyes are watery.

 

“I’m gonna fuck this up,” he says softly, “I’m gonna ruin this.”

 

Derek frowns at him, “What do you mean? Did something happened?”

 

“That fucking _song_!” Julian chokes out, “That…the way he…nobody’s ever…and I don’t deserve it.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Logan kneels beside him, “What do you mean you don’t deserve it?”

 

“He’s so _good_ ,” a single tear makes its way down Julian’s face, and he wipes it away hurriedly, “He’s just so…and I’m _not_. I don’t deserve him. I’m gonna fuck it up. I know I am.”

 

“You like him, right?” Derek asks, “You don’t _want_ to fuck it up, do you?”

 

“Of course not. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“Well maybe you won’t, then.”

 

Julian shakes his head, draws in on himself a little more, “You don’t understand. I don’t _get_ things like this. I don’t get to be happy like this.”

 

Logan grimaces a little, but just leans forward and takes one of Julian’s hands.

 

“Look, Jules,” he says, softly, “He’s…he does really seem to like you. I know it can be scary but you can’t run away from things because it _might_ turn out bad. You _do_ deserve to be happy.”

 

“You did almost _die_ last year,” Derek interjects, “I think you’ve had enough bad shit for the next few years, don’t you?”

 

Julian almost smiles at that, wipes his face with the back of his hand. He opens his mouth to say something, but the sound of the band coming off stage shuts him up. He takes a deep breath, reaches up to fix his hair just as Clark comes their way.

 

“Hey,” he drops to the floor, and Logan shuffles out of the way to give them space, “Is everything okay? Was it the song? You hated it, didn’t you? Corey told me it was too cheesy…”

 

“No,” Julian shakes his head, “No it was perfect. I loved it.”

 

Clark looks a little confused, “Then why’d you run?”

 

“I just…it’s a lot, you know?”

 

“…me? I’m a lot?”

 

Julian nods, and Clark looks mildly concerned.

 

“…in a bad way?”

 

“No,” Julian reaches out, grips the fabric of Clark’s shirt in his hands, “A good way. You’re a lot in a good way.”

 

Clark smiles a little, “I have no idea what that means, you know.”

 

“I love you.”

 

He looks frozen for a moment, stares dumbly at Julian before a slow smile spreads across his face.

 

“Yeah? Well I kinda love you too.”

 

“Even though I’m a fucking disaster?”

 

“Don’t say that,” Clark runs a hand through Julian’s hair, tangles his fingers in soft brown curls, “You’re everything I want, alright?”

 

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Julian leans in, and they meet in the softest, gentlest kiss, broken only by the sound of a throat clearing behind them.

 

“Don’t mean to break this up,” Sinclair says a little awkwardly, “But we can only hold off an encore for so long, you know.”

 

Clark takes Julian’s hands and squeezes, eyes never leaving Julian’s.

 

“Come out with us,” he says with a smile, “Let’s do our song, okay?”

 

“I didn’t rehearse…”

 

“It doesn’t matter. You’ll sound perfect. You always do.”

 

Julian lets Clark pull him up. Their hands stay linked as Clark leads him out to the stage, and they both laugh at the screams from the crowd.

 

“Sorry for the wait,” Clark says, leaning into the microphone, “But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of dating the most beautiful person in the world. He’s very distracting, y’know?”

 

They grin at each other before launching into the song.

 

Logan and Derek watch from the sidelines.

 

They settle back, smiling a little at how  _happy_ Julian looks up on stage, Clark by his side. He deserves this, really -- deserves someone who stares at him like he's the whole world, who writes songs about his smile and holds him so tenderly. 

 

“…I guess he’s really not _that_ bad,” Derek admits reluctantly.

 

“Still,” Logan says, “If he ever hurts Jules…”

 

“Oh I’ll help you hide the body, don’t worry. I don't think he will, though."

 

"Yeah. Me either."

 


End file.
